As Opposed To Living Life For Others… My Theory On Long Life Versus Early Death
Keen Observation Theory On Shorter Life Span – Those that chase fun, adventure, take lavish vacations – all for their own glory – that scream look at me. The ones that want and need the attention, to beat others to it, one-upmanship, you know the types. They are the first here or there, posting photos on social media. Let everyone know of their accomplishments. Those that burn the brightest, are struck down early. Most often, they are childless. Also, in my experience are either located far from family or, choose to allow siblings to attend to parents or family issues.
I’ve seen this more often than not. The first time I was alerted to this phenomenon was by a friend. Her older sister, married, childless in her 50’s was diagnosed with colon cancer. Her and her husband had lucrative careers and would go off galivanting. Meanwhile, the majority of the siblings who lived close by, helped their aging and ill parents. These siblings kept up the childhood home and cared for their mother who had Parkinsons. They each took turns helping Dad and assisting Mom. But not said sister. She died two years before the mother.
Then within the same family, the oldest son moved out of state decades prior, would visit only once a year if that. He left all of the hard work, dealing with the parents, to the remaining family. A few years after the mother died, he came home to visit and stayed with the Dad. Sometime in the early morning, he died in his sleep. They were told later that he had just had a check-up and everything was fine. He had a massive heart attack.
Coincidence? I think not. Here’s another example.
A childhood friend years ago moved out of state with her new husband – why? Because they wanted the fast lifestyle. They were childless with substantial salaries – and they partied. I mean they drank, went to bars, out to dinner, seen shows, traveled all over to exotic locales. While they partied with “friends” and posed for group photos, back home the oldest brother died unexpectedly. He was out of shape and collapsed from complications. Then the father died. Who was there to get the mother and family through? The siblings who stayed local. They kept up the households and helped the widow. But not this friend. Sure the funerals were attended, visits made twice a year. But then came the cancer. She died two years ago. Had this friend moved back home, who knows? I think she would have lived cancer free. I think she would be right where her mother needed her. Instead, her mother went into a nursing home. None of the living siblings, who had families, were able to stop working to care for her.
And the most recent, Prime example…
A distant relative in his early forties moved out of state chasing the money. He had an exorbitant salary. So he travelled. Climbed mountains, had a houseboat, had all of the toys. Let everyone know about his great, selfish life. That’s right, back home some of his family and friends were struggling. No matter, he had his life to live. He married, had kids, but since the wife had a huge income, the goods kept coming. The mansion, the autos, the dinners, the excursions. Meanwhile, back home, the family struggles, the hardships continue. One day he wakes up with a severe pain in his abdomen. He couldn’t understand it. He was in tip-top shape. After a series of tests, stage 4 pancreatic cancer. He died 8 months later.
“For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall much be required”; Those mentioned above – failed the test. The test of doing more for others with the resources they were given.
Again, I say, live your life for others. Help your older parents. Take care of your siblings. If at all possible, help your friends in need. Yes, it’s a sacrifice. Yes, it will suck up your time and money. But it’s the right thing to do. And you will lead a more rewarding, impactful life.
Rich and Strange! 