Category: Death and dying

Mom Has Died

Blindsided By Death…

I’m saddened to say that we buried Mom less than a month ago. Even though she had several ailments, we weren’t suspecting a possible stroke. All of us knew it would be an uphill battle, but we had hoped with therapy, she could swallow and hopefully, speak by Thanksgiving. Complication after complication mounted. Her weakened body, struggled to stay alive for us. She tried to breathe without the ventilator for exactly 24 hours.

Hard To Watch…

All of our prayers, joined together with parishioners, neighbors and friends could not bring about a miracle. So, our prayers changed for a miracle of another kind, that she dies soon as to relieve her suffering. Mom had a living will, so no extreme measures were to be taken. Due to the stroke, early on she tried to speak and sometimes you could decipher a word. But, as the days went on, she became weaker. Her not being able to tell each one of us something private, personal, left us without closure. Seeing your mother cry out of frustration and fear, took resolve not to react.

Dying Is Not Peaceful – She Suffered

Mom had shallow, labored breathing exactly two hours after being removed from the ventilator. The moment she started coughing and gasping for air the team had warned us, she would be switching from medical care to comfort care. Once that moment came, I feverishly prayed aloud for her soul. Afterall, what was left? We were losing Mom. They gave her more oxygen, until the pain medicine, which was given every 15 minutes started to relax her. Most of us stayed with her for another 8 hours, not expecting her to survive long, according to the medical team.

Clinging To Life

At 3:00 A.M. I called the hospital. There was still no change in Mom. Of course, it was hard to sleep, but I needed to stay home with Dad. Three hours later, more family was at the hospital, by her side. Still, her rhythmic, gasping breathing happened. Mom eyes closed, mouth open, lie motionless as the medication eased her struggle. When I arrived at 8:30 A.M., to relieve some family and pray more for her soul, I noticed here and there her breathing would take a split second longer.

Hospice Paperwork

Since Mom was in ICU, and not expected to live much longer, the hospital needed to move her to their Hospice wing. Dad signed the paperwork in the ICU waiting room. Later, the Hospice Doctor came by to see Mom and speak a little about what would happen. He examined her hands and feet. Took her pulse. He told me by his guess a few hours. I had heard that the dying waits for their family to leave until they pass. I asked him about this, and he explained that in his experience it’s either that OR they are waiting on a loved one to come. Yes, one wasn’t present, but had spoken on the phone. He paused and said, “Are you religious?” I said we are crazy Catholics and have been praying for her soul. He said; “Great. She should be fine.” I didn’t ask him to elaborate. I needed to start praying at her bedside.

Waxy Color

About this time, alone with Mom I noticed how yellow she was. The term “waxy” I had heard many times describing the dead and dying. But now I understood that to mean like the look of wax beans. The pale yellow, semi-translucent skin. Mom had purple and red small bruise-like spots over her arms and on her fingertips. Her feet were cold and then sometimes hot. Her left arm and leg had swollen, due to the stroke and lack of movement.

Her Death

After praying for her soul, really begging that her suffering be reparation for her purgatory, I spoke to her. I have known for some time that the dying can hear you. So, I had told her anything noteworthy about what was happening to her as well as any family concerns. This time, regardless of any past issues, troubles, I let Mom know something she has probably never heard. It dawned on me that neither her parents (which were never involved with her) nor her sisters or family had ever told her what she needed to hear. So, I told her. I told my mother that she was a success. That she was successful, more so than anyone in her immediate family. I told her that it was okay to go. And to look for the light.

I Took A Break

I let one of my family members know that I was going to step out, but that I should be back in about one hour. I no sooner drove about 2 miles from the hospital when I received the call. Mom stopped breathing; a nurse called for a doctor. When I returned to the hospital, Mom had been pronounced about 10 minutes prior. The nurse and family confirmed that as soon as they had mentioned aloud in front of Mom that I had left, her breathing became few and far between.

We Stayed With Her Body

Dad and I stayed with Mom for 2 and a half hours after her death. Mostly silent. I touched her hands and her face, her feet and her arms. I stroked her hair – all things we were never permitted to do while she lived. When I started to cry, I realized that I cried for myself out of pity and fear. I still repeat that over and over. I had taken a moment to call the funeral home of choice, there with Mom. I didn’t realize that she would go to the hospital morgue. Once received there, later most likely late into the night the funeral workers would transport her to the funeral home. Thus began the process of preparing for the funeral…

Limbo: Not All Souls Who Wander Are Lost…

I’ve read and experienced, that the dead communicate through dreams.

During prayer I asked that if any poor souls, albeit if I had worked with them and not even known them, needed my intercession to let me be made aware. As par for the course, two days later I had the following dream.

The Funeral Home.

I found myself in the main showing room of a vast, formal funeral home. I knew it was a funeral home and, like those you are familiar with, it was well lit with many lamps, coffee tables, loveseat, chairs and a desk. All the furnishings facing towards the lights. The was a massive funeral home. The ceiling soared almost cathedral-like. And like many funeral homes, there were partitions. This well-lit section was huge possibly enormous 75 feet wide by 50 in depth before the open partitions. These open, looming sliding solid wood paneled doors, divided the showroom from the foyer. As you approached the partition doors, the room became dimmer and dimmer. Centered squarely in the foyer was an ascending staircase. Upon the landing the railing went to the left and right, with the second floor disappearing in the darkness. I knew not to cross over the threshold of the partition doors, into the darkened foyer.

Three cats to comfort me …

I soon realized that three of “my” cats were with me in the showroom. They were comfortable, sitting on tables and the desk. I knew they were mine and clearly recognized one of them that I currently have. I felt the foreboding, I knew I didn’t want to be there, but I was aware that I must stay. Again, like typical funeral homes, I made my way instinctively to the kitchen. It was off to the right of the showroom, so no need to enter the foyer.

The Kitchen

Once I entered the small kitchen, I went to the sink and peered out the window. It was dusk outside. The cat I recognized, jumped on the countertop. I opened a cabinet door to find her something to eat. It was then that while still looking out the window, I said to myself: “If I could only make it to morning I’ll be fine. I must stay until then.”

Return To The Showroom…

Once back into the showroom, I thought: “I need to stay here by the desk, sofas, in the light until morning.” I was uneasy about the open partition doors. This opening, humongous, approximately 30 feet wide, made me insecure. I felt the need to have it closed. But yet, it remained open. I was not to attempt to close them. I innately knew I could have crossed over into the darkened area, I was permitted, but with reserve. I didn’t want to go but would have if the need arose. I scanned the showroom to make sure all the cats were accounted for, and well clear of the dimly lit area. I told the cats to stay on this side of the room. I looked at the sofa by the desk, again, all furniture faced away from the looming doors. I thought: “Good, I won’t be looking that direction. I can wait out the night.”

The Young Woman

Just then I looked up at the darkened opening of the doors. I caught glimpse of her walking mid-way through the foyer. Striding easily, from right to left, a young thirty something, woman. She had long blonde hair, pulled back and wearing a distinctive red vest. The vests worn by the big box home improvement retail chain. (Remember I had asked if any former co-workers known or unknown in need). I did not know recognize her, but of course remembered the workplace. I immediately yelled: “Hey!” She turned her head to face me but continued her pace until she disappeared from the frame of the doors, into the hidden darkness of the foyer.

I Pursued Her…

Without hesitation, I quickly went after her into the darkness around the left partition door. She was there but lying down in the dark. The residual light from the showroom enabled me to see her. I bent over her and said: “Do you know you’re dead? You can’t stay here in this darkness? You need to be with God.” I was insistent. She sat up and said: “No, I like it here. I’m staying. You should come here, too.” I was incredulous; “Why would you like it here? No, no, this isn’t good.”

Justification, Persuasion…

The deceased woman stood and tried to influence me by saying: “I can do what I want here, I’m staying.” She tried to coax, justifying her reasoning. She waved me on as she went deeper into the dark. I had the impression there were a sparse few along with her. Amazed I shook it off and stepped back into the showroom.

The Dream Ended…

Immediately the dream ended. Upon awakening, I knew that not all souls want to be prayed for. A token few like where they are at. They do not want to be helped along. They want to roam in limbo. It was a revelation to me. I have no idea who she was but, apparently, we worked for the same company at one time. Also, I feel for me the “three” cats meant safety, a sort of security, like home. As you can read, this was an Indepth dream, with a clear message for me. And I didn’t fail to receive it!

Dead Body “Blubber”

Tales From A Funeral Home Mortuary Plumber…

Another fantastic tale from an unlikely source, your commercial/residential local plumber. A mutual friend of mine told me about her run-in with her companies’ plumber. After fixing their restroom sink, the plumber met her for payment. He went onto tell her about his years as a commercial plumber. So let’s begin…

He started out as an apprentice for a local plumbing company. Since he was low on the totem, he was given all of the grunt work and grimy jobs. He was usually teamed with a journeyman plumber. His first solo assignment was at the local metro hospital. There was a backup clog suspected to be originating from the basement. Maintenance lead him down into the dimly lit basement, where he drilled open access panels. From there down in “the pit” he started to smell it. After cutting the water supply, he wrenched open all threaded sections until he located the source.

THE SMELL…

He knew he found the source, because the smell preceded it. After cutting the section of pipe, that when he first seen “it.”

THE “BLUBBER”

There inside the pipe, lining the walls, blocking the center was the “blubber.” The “blubber,” a yellowish white, substance that resembled a jiggly like mayonnaise or Go-Jo hand cleaner. The stench was over-powering. After attempting to scoop it out, he made the decision to cut in a new section of pipe.

Coming Up For Air…

He needed to breathe, so enroute he encountered the maintenance worker who let him know that the “blubber” he found was actually human fat! The network of pipe connects the surgery rooms to the hospital morgue. And over the years the buildup of fat collects in the pipes causing the back-up. It was explained that during the prep in the hospital morgue, that all fluids and fat are drained from the bodies – right down the drain.

Once completed, he crawled out of “the pit” and called into his employer. He had to go home. He went immediately home to shower and throw out his clothes. But – now he was considered the “blubber” specialist.

FUNERAL HOME “Blubber”

From there, he became the ‘go-to’ plumber for several area funeral homes. It was explained to him that, during the embalming process, all fluids, blood, infections, fat are sucked and washed away before the preservation can begin. Now, he arrives fully aware of the stench and wears disposable clothing. He also factors in a stop home to shower and change. He digs up the drains, cleans up pipes or replaces existing. Still the “blubber” and the are smell over-powering.

His Own Company – after gaining a reputation, he started his own plumbing company. He scored several more funeral homes – and another hospital.

Another Hospital

The latest account, another hospital had a serious clog, so once again he suited up and went in. A similar scenario of basement level pipe layout. Again, there was an access pit. He could smell it…

“PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, DON’T LET IT CONNECT TO THE MORGUE…”

As he was wrenching on the pipe the odor made him gag. “Please, please, please don’t let it connect to the morgue!” He was muttering. Yes, it did connect to the morgue. Coming up for air, he encountered a doctor. “How can you take that smell?” The doctor looked at him.

“DON’T YOU HAVE ANY PASTE?”

The doctor just looked at him. “Don’t you have any paste?” Here, those doctors and workers use a waxy paste on their upper lip/under their nose to cancel out the odor. The doctor was amazed that the plumber was able to withstand the odor. He said –

“YOU’LL SMELL THAT FOR A MONTH”

The plumber was given the paste and now puts it on every service call to a hospital or funeral home!

HAUNTED ESTATE SALE CLOTHING

When asked about any clinging ghosts, he had several stories to tell. These were from a different sort. His parents are both auctioneers. And the plumber collects vintage men’s clothing. If he finds something that fits, he absolutely adds it to his collection. Once home, things start to happen.

Kitchen cabinets are heard clanking and banging. Out of the corner of his eye, dark, darting shadows. Rapping on walls and windows.

Several Girlfriends Have Left Him

He’s went through several girlfriends who just can’t take the commotion. He even relocated, purchased a new to him home, and the ghosts came with him! She left him.

HE MOVED

He did move, met someone new and things went smoothly. Then he was taking a shower. As he was shaving, he seen it in the mirror. The hand towel on the rack started to shake. It was shaking violently. There was no tremor. He knew it followed him – again. He’s hoping that his new girlfriend doesn’t leave him.

He told my friend several times – “I think I attract them.”

My question is this – does the “blubber” flush into our water supply?


Soul Passing through Soul…Donna’s Near Death Total Eclipse

I recently ran into Donna, an acquaintance. Having just experienced the total eclipse in our area, I asked her if she had a chance to view it. She’s a store manager and knowing the long hours she works, I wasn’t sure if she would have taken the time. “Oh, yes! It was wonderful. It was really something. That white light (during the full eclipse) reminded me of when I died.”

This surprised me, “What? You had a near-death experience?” I had to know the details, and Donna told me her story. She started and told me several times “I really don’t like to talk about it.”

Donna died during premature Labor

Several decades earlier she was pregnant with identical twin boys. She started to go into labor at only 7 months. Her doctors felt that was too early, as she was carrying twins, and they weren’t fully developed. At the hospital, a monitoring strap was placed around her abdomen. All information would be read from the strap and a long ticker tape would print out. The nurse would mark the tape at intervals. At one point, the doctors decided to prescribe medication to stop the labor. A head nurse explained to Donna that she would receive an injection to slow the labor. Another nurse came in a few moments afterwards and gave her a shot.

Donna suddenly was above her body. “I was above my body, looking down at the nurse. She ran out of the room. And then like that – (snaps her fingers) I was in total darkness. Everything was black. I started to worry a little because it was so black. It didn’t feel right. And then-

Two Bright Lights Sped Past Her

Two incredibly bright lights sped past me – like SWOOSH SWOOSH! I mean they zoomed by. I turned to follow them and then I saw it. The whitest light, far in the distance. It was white like the eclipse corona. I knew that there were others waiting for me in that light. It was peaceful.

Suddenly Back In Her Body

Just then I awoke on the hospital bed. I said: “You killed me! You killed me!” The head nurse was there trying to calm me. There was a time lapse, it felt like I had died and was gone for some time, when only a minute or so had passed. The head nurse explained that the other nurse had mistakenly given her the dose all at once instead of in intervals. So, she had to give Donna another injection. Donna fought this, but she reluctantly received it.

Her Twins Died

It was explained later that the first injection caused her blood pressure to drop, which caused a stroke-like effect to her twins. They had died. After the immense grief her and her husband endured, Donna finally asked for her hospital records months later. None were found. She couldn’t even get in touch with the head nurse who attended to her.

“I realized afterwards that those two white lights that sped past me – were my sons souls.” Donna paused, reflected and said, “I absolutely know that there is a God, and my sons are with him.”

The What ifs

“Every so-often I think of the what-ifs. Of raising them, how they would have turned out. Wouldn’t it have been something to see? Those two IDENTICAL twin boys growing up…”

I didn’t press her for more as her voice trailed off with the wonder. Thankfully, something work related came up to distract her attention.

Whistling Past The Cemetery

True Ghost Encounters Late Night At The Cemetery!

An old friend reminded me of the fact that “the gift” runs in her family. In fact her Aunt, her two male cousins all have a “sixth sense.” Hers, deals with the discernment of spirits and communication with the dead, usually in her dreams. She recounted one of her earliest experiences. “When I was eight years old, I stayed overnight with my Aunt Carol. My Aunt also has the gift. Her house was directly across from an older cemetery, but still in use. She has two sons (both with some gifts, too) but none of us were scared of it. We were raised to respect the dead, so no thrill seeking. I stayed in her guest bedroom. Us kids went to bed around 9:00 P.M. Wee into the morning, I distinctly remember being woke up. Now, this room had a window that faced the cemetery. I was drawn to the window. After my eyes adjusted – I seen them! There were hundreds of spirits. They were dancing! These ghosts were of mixed eras – Civil War, Flappers, Dresses with corsets, I distinctly seen pinstriped suits, too.

I ran into my Aunts room, waking her up. I told her ghosts were dancing in the cemetery, come quick! She did follow me and peered out the window. I said, “let’s go over there!” But she wisely said, “I see them too, but we can’t disturb the spirits.” I really wanted to go over to them, but instead we watched them dance around for at least half an hour. Finally, my Aunt said we needed to get back to bed as it was almost 4:00 A.M. by this point.” I asked her to describe how they appeared to her. “Have you ever seen ‘Haunted Mansion’? They were like that, translucent, and white, but a tint of color.” So my take is maybe, just maybe, the film “Carnival Of Souls,” had it right!

Late Night At Old Cemetery

So here’s a few tales about visiting the old local cemetery at night. An acquaintance told me about her and her man visiting a local cemetery late at night. This cemetery sits high on hills and happens to have a shrine cut into the front of the hill. This is where pilgrims may light a votive candle, which at the time, was open around the clock.

So, neither one was Catholic, but decided to go because of all of the lore that surrounds this cemetery. First, there’s the “Stairway to Heaven” steps that rise up a large hill, leading to a life-size Crucifix. Again, this is a 200-year-old cemetery, so supposedly at night, thrill seekers have seen an eerie glow around the stairway. Second, there’s another nearby hill, where again after a series of steps, you reach a life-size Crucifixion scene mounted high on a granite base. Many have seen white mist surrounding this. So the couple are making their way to the candle shrine, when he suddenly stops. On the hill atop of the shrine were dozens of shadow figures, backlight by a white glow. She seen them, too. They watched for a few seconds as the shadows gathered closer to hill slope to watch them. The couple whispered to each other – “Let’s go.” And they back peddled out of there. When the had safely drove away, they discussed what had happened. They both concluded that the shadows did not want them there, because they were just thrill-seekers!

I have more tales about this cemetery which I plan on posting soon. Do I believe it’s haunted? No. I went to school there, classmates are buried there, I visit it regularly. Our family plots are there! If anything, this cemetery is blessed and serene. But I do know it’s protected, which I feel is what the couple witnessed.

Chasing Fun: Means Dying Young?

As Opposed To Living Life For Others… My Theory On Long Life Versus Early Death

Keen Observation Theory On Shorter Life Span – Those that chase fun, adventure, take lavish vacations – all for their own glory – that scream look at me. The ones that want and need the attention, to beat others to it, one-upmanship, you know the types. They are the first here or there, posting photos on social media. Let everyone know of their accomplishments. Those that burn the brightest, are struck down early. Most often, they are childless. Also, in my experience are either located far from family or, choose to allow siblings to attend to parents or family issues.

I’ve seen this more often than not. The first time I was alerted to this phenomenon was by a friend. Her older sister, married, childless in her 50’s was diagnosed with colon cancer. Her and her husband had lucrative careers and would go off galivanting. Meanwhile, the majority of the siblings who lived close by, helped their aging and ill parents. These siblings kept up the childhood home and cared for their mother who had Parkinsons. They each took turns helping Dad and assisting Mom. But not said sister. She died two years before the mother.

Then within the same family, the oldest son moved out of state decades prior, would visit only once a year if that. He left all of the hard work, dealing with the parents, to the remaining family. A few years after the mother died, he came home to visit and stayed with the Dad. Sometime in the early morning, he died in his sleep. They were told later that he had just had a check-up and everything was fine. He had a massive heart attack.

Coincidence? I think not. Here’s another example.

A childhood friend years ago moved out of state with her new husband – why? Because they wanted the fast lifestyle. They were childless with substantial salaries – and they partied. I mean they drank, went to bars, out to dinner, seen shows, traveled all over to exotic locales. While they partied with “friends” and posed for group photos, back home the oldest brother died unexpectedly. He was out of shape and collapsed from complications. Then the father died. Who was there to get the mother and family through? The siblings who stayed local. They kept up the households and helped the widow. But not this friend. Sure the funerals were attended, visits made twice a year. But then came the cancer. She died two years ago. Had this friend moved back home, who knows? I think she would have lived cancer free. I think she would be right where her mother needed her. Instead, her mother went into a nursing home. None of the living siblings, who had families, were able to stop working to care for her.

And the most recent, Prime example…

A distant relative in his early forties moved out of state chasing the money. He had an exorbitant salary. So he travelled. Climbed mountains, had a houseboat, had all of the toys. Let everyone know about his great, selfish life. That’s right, back home some of his family and friends were struggling. No matter, he had his life to live. He married, had kids, but since the wife had a huge income, the goods kept coming. The mansion, the autos, the dinners, the excursions. Meanwhile, back home, the family struggles, the hardships continue. One day he wakes up with a severe pain in his abdomen. He couldn’t understand it. He was in tip-top shape. After a series of tests, stage 4 pancreatic cancer. He died 8 months later.

“For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall much be required”; Those mentioned above – failed the test. The test of doing more for others with the resources they were given.

Again, I say, live your life for others. Help your older parents. Take care of your siblings. If at all possible, help your friends in need. Yes, it’s a sacrifice. Yes, it will suck up your time and money. But it’s the right thing to do. And you will lead a more rewarding, impactful life.

Darren’s Near-Death Experience

My Interview with Darren after his life changing event

Darren asks “How do you describe perfect.” Darren found himself in the “perfect” place, or lack thereof after collapsing at home. Let me tell you about Darren. I’ve been acquainted with him for over 8 years. He was a slender, white-haired man in his early 60’s. He was a quick moving, helpful, dedicated worker a at big box store. If he didn’t know, he’d find out, he seemingly was everywhere at once. All co-workers liked him, all customers knew him. He’s a genuine, helpful, gentle man.

I hadn’t see him for months on end, and you know how it is, you get busy with your own life and you forget. I forgot until I happened to see Darren almost a year later, at the big box store on a motorized cart. He had gained weight substantially, so I almost didn’t recognize him. I was caught off guard and thankfully Darren volunteered about his ordeal. ”I died almost a year ago and had to learn how to walk and talk again.” I was astounded, he went on – “I had something happen while I was dead, everyone here knows about it.” He agreed to make sometime a few weeks later, to tell me his story in detail.

His Story begins mid-pandemic. He wore many hats at the big box store – and he was enlisted to clean the floors with a sterilizing solution. He had a sinus reaction, and after struggling at work, he finally had to go home early. He went home, sat in his comfortable chair – and collapsed. His wife found him unresponsive and called 911.

Darren was on a ventilator for 12 days. Unbeknownst to him, he had a brain deformity, a fluke which caused a stemic stroke, no bleeding. He was induced into a coma, and due to his sinus blockage, a feeding port was put into his stomach.

Darren is not a believer in God. He hopes there is a God. Nor is he familiar with near-death experiences. ”Someone told me that what they are called.” Darren found himself in total darkness. A black place. He couldn’t see or hear anyone or thing. Time does not exist there. It was infinite. ”It was perfect. Peaceful. Love. No need for anything.” Darren continues;” Felt a presence, felt everything was all good. There was no fear. I didn’t even care about my wife or family – they’ll be fine.” Amazed still as he recounts what happened, “No questions – no stress, just peaceful.”

Darren’s a real worker and on the side, he installed carpet with his friend. His friend was diagnosed with rectal cancer. He went through chemo/radiation, and he felt okay. But his doctors wanted surgery. In Darren’s experience, if the doctors don’t get it all – it spreads. His buddy went through the surgery. Later on a carpet job, his friend told him he didn’t feel well. Darren told him to go, he’ll finish. The next morning he called him. His daughter answered and told Darren he’d passed. He was 59. Darren was shocked. In the darkness (I called it the void) Darren knew he was there with him. He felt his mother (who died at 94) and others, but couldn’t see them. No one spoke. ”It was contentment.”

When Darren awoke – he was fighting the staff, he was so angry to be removed from the “perfect” place he had to be restrained. Initially, all memory was lost upon waking, but it came flooding back to him once he got his bearings. Hospital doctors and staff were dismissive about his ordeal. They insisted it was drug induced. The VA doctors listened. His therapist listened, too. He told everyone who’d listen at the hospital. They said all scans/monitors looked fine. They couldn’t place him as clinically dead.

Gradually he had to learn all of his motor skills again. It took one week before rising from bed. Two weeks before swallowing. Three months on a feeding port. Months going to a speech therapist. He ate ice cream through a feeding tube. All of his food came in boxes from Nestle. He had ordeals with the local VA hospital yanking his tube which released air.

What He’s learned. This has changed his perspective. “Money means nothing.” Everything in modesty, temperance. His mother was a RN. “She smoked two packs of cigarettes a day. She died at 94. She said many times that people choose how they will die. Let them pass either easy or hard.”

Darren has contemplated his experience extensively. He’s not afraid of death, he knows what’s coming. He believes in reincarnation. “Everything is matter. It doesn’t die.” He promised me that when the real time comes, he’ll think of God and look for a light. ”I’ll promise I’ll think about it.”

The Omnific Word

If only I knew how to pronounce it! I’ve been reading lately the Aquarian Gospel of Jesus. It’s extremely informative on so many different levels. The main one of course is that Jesus heals , Jesus raises the dead, Jesus performs Miracles all by saying the Omnific word.

The only problem is no one is sure how to pronounce it! The omnific word of course at least everything that I’ve read indicates that it is the holy name of God. His name being so sacred that the Hebrews only used abbreviations or initials for His name. Over time it came to be known as Yahweh or Jehovah. Even I was taught that as a kid but both those names are wrong . It’s the acceptable pronunciation because you’re not supposed to say the holy and sacred name and it’s becomes a secret a mystery that Moses knew and shared with his people only.

Well according to these esoteric and secret writings like the gospel of the Holy twelve ,the gospel of St Thomas ,the Aquarian Gospel of Jesus and the Book of Yeshua, Jesus taught people to say within their soul (another words not out loud) the omnific word the holy name of God, in order to perform all these miracles healings and raising of the Dead. According to what I’ve read the Pharisees and the scribes took offense to Jesus teaching Christines the Christians to use God’s name to do these wondrous Deeds. Because of that they started to pass down secretly to only a select few the true pronunciation of God’s name. So that over time it was lost and only a Chosen Few even to this day know the true pronunciation and are permitted to use it!

What strikes me the most is that Jesus taught his pronunciation not just to the apostles, not just to his disciples, but to all the people in all the towns the cities in the nation’s that he visited. He taught these people how to use it to heal their own and pass it along. imagine knowing how to use it and being able to heal people. Being able to raise the Dead! Being able to perform miracles to help one another.

So I’ve been reading articles- there’s a lot and listening to hours of audio about these hidden and sacred texts that are not included in the Holy Bible.

No one can be sure at least that’s the great mystery but Jesus said : “If you seek you shall find nothing is hidden that won’t be revealed.” So several Scholars claim to have known the correct pronunciation. Most agree that it is spelled Yehovah. Pronounced Yah-who-wah.

Keeping that in mind you can’t just say the name to yourself. Jesus corrected some disciples who are not able to heal just by saying the God’s name in prayer. Jesus told him that they had to praise God’s name glorify him and then say the omnific word. Several other times when Jesus did create miracles it’s recorded that He said to God : “Make powerful your word!”

Also prevalent, Jesus made it very clear and there’s a Common Thread to a lot of these teachings that we ourselves as a part of God because we are made in God’s image, we ourselves have the ability to heal ourselves and to heal others with our thoughts. Our thoughts have to be focused on the good on everything good and on God because all good things come from God.

Jesus made a point state that our thoughts do become things. How often have you read that? How many of the Unity masters have stated that? Jesus drove this point home many times. Also reiterating that we ourselves have the ability to move mountains. We can if we focus on the good, do not hold grudges with any one, praise and glorify God and inwardly correctly pronounce the Omnific word – God’s true name. (If only we knew how)!

I promise if I decipher how to say it, the correct formula or procedure to communicate directly with God to get prayers answered, miracles performed, the sick healed and the dead resurrected, I will share this with everyone with ears to listen!

I encourage those seeking to review all of these hidden texts. God is trying to communicate with us. Jesus is trying to teach us. Let’s make a pact now uncover these secrets and share with each other. Let’s live our lives to our potential, the way God intended for his people.

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Secrets Buried With The Dead…and Forgotten

An old friend that I used to run around with died recently. He was a co-worker from years back and he was beautiful. I mean movie star beautiful-  black hair,long eyelashes ,muscular. We were just friends, he was someone to run around with and I was just a shy girl anyway. as what happens with most friends, your friends for time and then you lose touch. but as fate would have it we ran into each other he immediately called out my name and we reconnected. So subsequently we’ve run into each other semi frequently.

But now he had a son and he had a rocky on again off again relationship going. when I ran into him a few times he was a construction worker so he was pretty beat from his job. He mentioned a few things not going completely right with this life, but nothing extreme.

The last time I had seen him,  I  turned around and there was with his little son. We marveled at the fact that we were in a totally different City about 40 miles from where we lived.

About a month later I happened to be reading the local paper and I just glanced at the obituaries and there he was. I was shocked. He was healthy and no reason was given.  As a rule I always go to the calling hours mostly to pray for the Dead. I learned a few years back that Protestants don’t pray for the Dead. As a cradle Catholic I’ve learned to always pray for the Dead just to make sure that their souls get out of purgatory.

At the calling hours I was disappointed in the fact that it was closed casket. I wanted to see him for myself it’s important for those of us just to see the body and have closure. So I couldn’t even see him. There were pictures and a presentation slideshow, a minister speaking about a his short life.

But absolutely no one knew the exact cause of his death. And if they did know they weren’t going to tell. And I asked. I asked four separate people four times during the entire service. No one knew. But an astute man pointed out that there was a policeman present. ‘ How often do you see that,’ he asked. I’ll never know how or why he died.

When I mentioned this to coworker she said if they don’t tell you it’s usually because it wasn’t good. She’s right and I knew it was true before I asked.

It made me ponder about all the things we keep in the recesses of our mind which we bury and forget about. My extended family has all kinds of dodgy pasts. When they have died,we’ve buried all their Dirty Deeds never to really speak about them again.  Mostly I’m sure it’s because you’re not supposed to speak ill of the Dead for fear of God, but also for fear the dead will come to haunt you!

Yeah there’s been some nasty pasts in my extended family, unmentionables things it even I don’t want to write about, evil, dastardly things.

And yet we all try to forget it cover it bury it and move forward. In my family mum’s the Word, silence is golden and ignorance is bliss!

I have an older cousin who every so often tries to stuff my immediate family in closet with all of those skeletons, fully knowing that there’s no room for us! I’m happy to report that sure we’ve done some things that we’re not proud of.  But yes we haven’t done all the unmentionables that my extended family has that is certain.  I often wondered what has saved us from falling into that great Abyss that surrounds a lot of families . And without a doubt that something is of course our faith-based upbringing. A huge fear of God goes a long way in your day-to-day life!

Another fact is that the Devil Makes use of Idle Hands. Having steady employment year after year really does keep you out of trouble that’s for sure. In my work I encounter all walks of people all social castes.  The people who approach me asking for money or wanting a ride or cigarettes or a light (of course I don’t even smoke! ) or wanting money for food, are they really legitimate or are they just wanting the money for drugs or alcohol?

I guess I’ll never really know and the truth be told I have my own concerns my own was my own worries my own goals. Maybe we’re really not our Brother’s Keeper. And it is hard to discern who’s really needy versus who’s deceiving.

I do regret not distinguishing general complaints from dire thoughts. When last I seen him with his son he seemed happy. But maybe I was happy; it was a beautiful day, I was at a city I loved enjoying an event – and I assumed he was too.

 

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The Gospel Of St. Thomas…How To Apply It?

What strange power do we have locked within us? Were these powers wiped clean from are memories at birth? How exactly can we access these powers?

These questions are just the tip of the iceberg. I’ve scoured the web. Either the articles are mostly focused on the archaeological findings of the Dead Sea Scrolls, or, vultures honing in on anti-organized religion. As for me, I am
fascinated with the real “moving of mountains.” I did find a few posts video or otherwise, that tapped the vein of these mysteries. If you haven’t read the Gnostic Gospel of St. Thomas, now is the time! I was hesitant at first. Why rock the boat? But, once I realized that text was about realizing your potential and the God Given power in all of us (if only we knew how to use it!) I was enthralled.

Please read The Gospel Of St. Thomas now….

If you’ve read it please continue with my blog. I’ve already figured out a few things. First, what I call Christian Indifference. By that, I cast off any concerns, wants, needs by affirming that, I will give it to God (once!) and then let it go, firmly believing that whatever it is – will be done. Period.
This system works.

I understand that we are beings from God’s light. This means we are part of God. Knowing that, what was said secretly to Thomas? What possibly did Christ tell him that would provoke a stoning from the other Apostles? Christ did say that we (or at the very least the Apostles) are capable of greater miracles than any He performed. Do we have the innate ability to manifest miracles? All we need is the faith of a mustard seed, to ask in His name, and cast our cares upon his shoulders. Is that the secret? Have we forgotten due to the fall?

Think about meditation. Jesus said to go in your closet and pray privately. In this way you focus. He also reminded not to repeat. Again, say what is on your mind and let it go. These tidbits I have strung together in effort for cohesion. I really believe this is all relative to unsolving this mystery.

I’m attempting in increments, small experiments to test my theories. If and when, things I’ve thought or prayed for come to pass, I hope to share with all.

Without any doubt, when I have thought in passing about a need or desire, sure enough, it materializes in three days maximum. I need to master this process for the huge needs and wants! I’m trying and I will report back!

I welcome any thoughts on this perplexing and fascinating topic! Please leave a comment. Thank you!