Tales From A Funeral Home Mortuary Plumber…

Another fantastic tale from an unlikely source, your commercial/residential local plumber. A mutual friend of mine told me about her run-in with her companies’ plumber. After fixing their restroom sink, the plumber met her for payment. He went onto tell her about his years as a commercial plumber. So let’s begin…

He started out as an apprentice for a local plumbing company. Since he was low on the totem, he was given all of the grunt work and grimy jobs. He was usually teamed with a journeyman plumber. His first solo assignment was at the local metro hospital. There was a backup clog suspected to be originating from the basement. Maintenance lead him down into the dimly lit basement, where he drilled open access panels. From there down in “the pit” he started to smell it. After cutting the water supply, he wrenched open all threaded sections until he located the source.

THE SMELL…

He knew he found the source, because the smell preceded it. After cutting the section of pipe, that when he first seen “it.”

THE “BLUBBER”

There inside the pipe, lining the walls, blocking the center was the “blubber.” The “blubber,” a yellowish white, substance that resembled a jiggly like mayonnaise or Go-Jo hand cleaner. The stench was over-powering. After attempting to scoop it out, he made the decision to cut in a new section of pipe.

Coming Up For Air…

He needed to breathe, so enroute he encountered the maintenance worker who let him know that the “blubber” he found was actually human fat! The network of pipe connects the surgery rooms to the hospital morgue. And over the years the buildup of fat collects in the pipes causing the back-up. It was explained that during the prep in the hospital morgue, that all fluids and fat are drained from the bodies – right down the drain.

Once completed, he crawled out of “the pit” and called into his employer. He had to go home. He went immediately home to shower and throw out his clothes. But – now he was considered the “blubber” specialist.

FUNERAL HOME “Blubber”

From there, he became the ‘go-to’ plumber for several area funeral homes. It was explained to him that, during the embalming process, all fluids, blood, infections, fat are sucked and washed away before the preservation can begin. Now, he arrives fully aware of the stench and wears disposable clothing. He also factors in a stop home to shower and change. He digs up the drains, cleans up pipes or replaces existing. Still the “blubber” and the are smell over-powering.

His Own Company – after gaining a reputation, he started his own plumbing company. He scored several more funeral homes – and another hospital.

Another Hospital

The latest account, another hospital had a serious clog, so once again he suited up and went in. A similar scenario of basement level pipe layout. Again, there was an access pit. He could smell it…

“PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, DON’T LET IT CONNECT TO THE MORGUE…”

As he was wrenching on the pipe the odor made him gag. “Please, please, please don’t let it connect to the morgue!” He was muttering. Yes, it did connect to the morgue. Coming up for air, he encountered a doctor. “How can you take that smell?” The doctor looked at him.

“DON’T YOU HAVE ANY PASTE?”

The doctor just looked at him. “Don’t you have any paste?” Here, those doctors and workers use a waxy paste on their upper lip/under their nose to cancel out the odor. The doctor was amazed that the plumber was able to withstand the odor. He said –

“YOU’LL SMELL THAT FOR A MONTH”

The plumber was given the paste and now puts it on every service call to a hospital or funeral home!

HAUNTED ESTATE SALE CLOTHING

When asked about any clinging ghosts, he had several stories to tell. These were from a different sort. His parents are both auctioneers. And the plumber collects vintage men’s clothing. If he finds something that fits, he absolutely adds it to his collection. Once home, things start to happen.

Kitchen cabinets are heard clanking and banging. Out of the corner of his eye, dark, darting shadows. Rapping on walls and windows.

Several Girlfriends Have Left Him

He’s went through several girlfriends who just can’t take the commotion. He even relocated, purchased a new to him home, and the ghosts came with him! She left him.

HE MOVED

He did move, met someone new and things went smoothly. Then he was taking a shower. As he was shaving, he seen it in the mirror. The hand towel on the rack started to shake. It was shaking violently. There was no tremor. He knew it followed him – again. He’s hoping that his new girlfriend doesn’t leave him.

He told my friend several times – “I think I attract them.”

My question is this – does the “blubber” flush into our water supply?